fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
