its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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