Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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