do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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