I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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