just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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