Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
