A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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