No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize