me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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