she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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