I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
