Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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