im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
