I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
