...so i touched it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Randomize
