Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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