So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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