I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
