Just fell off a train. Bad.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
