You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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