well you can't waste a boner
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
