meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
