Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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