tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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