I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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