Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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