i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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