So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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