Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
