It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
