i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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