Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
