It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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