I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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