Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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