I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
