I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
