she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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