Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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