Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This baby is an asshole
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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