so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
