Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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