based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
