A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
