I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
