there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
