"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
