I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize