you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize