we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
