Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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