the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
