my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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