barbara walters just said penis...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
And then he peed in my hair
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