What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
