Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You ate ashes out of my bong
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
