Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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