Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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