You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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