An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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