New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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