My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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