return my video game
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
