why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
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I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
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You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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