My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
