i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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