I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
