i just google imaged poop.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
