fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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