you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We just shotgunned beers for America
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
