I'm lost and stupid without you.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
