He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
